10/31/17: We all deal with death differently just as we all photograph for different reasons. I realized that as my father lay dying in the hospital that the only way for me to deal with it was through my camera – how we each interacted with him.
I’ve been doing the same with my mother.
I’ve been doing the same with my mother.
Photographing Mom and Dad, I have wondered if I was putting a barrier between me and them, but I have realized that it allowed and allows me to focus in on them without any of the extraneous noise. To actually be there, not in grief, not allowing my emotions to overwhelm me, but in a way that allows me to be there for them. Looking at the photos I can see how sick my mother is, but also moments of peace and even playfulness.
I see details that I hadn’t seen or noticed before.
I shot the photo above after a particularly difficult session with the doctor and nurses about how to proceed with my mother’s care. The salt marshes have always been a special, even magical, place for me. Shooting out there that day helped me find some peace, but it always does.